Aging Bites!

If fifty’s the new 30, as I’m often told

Then what is the reason I feel so damn old?

I used to be able to run like a pup

I now need a forklift, just to stand up.

There’s pain in my knees, my hairs turning gray

I often forget what I wanted to say. 
I can’t find my glasses, and where is my phone?

I no longer have patience…just leave me alone!

My counter resembles Rite Aid’s pharmacy;

Acidophilus, and Calcium with Vitamin D

Vitamin C, and cream for strange rashes

Black Cohosh Root for frequent hot flashes!

I crack and I creek like an old house’s door

My stomach makes noises; I’m told that I snore

I never imagined that I’d ever need

My own granny glasses, just so I can read!

Ignore it, deny it, just don’t give in

Don’t look in the mirror, you won’t feel chagrin.

But all of my tricks are of no avail…

My AARP card just came in the mail!